Bathrooms

Little kids in public bathrooms always crack me up. Whether they're unashamedly grunting in the stall next to you, or asking awkward questions... you always know when they are in there.

One of the most awkward situations I've ever been in (and trust me, I've been in MANY) involved a child in a public restroom. The job at the restaurant I used to work at had two stalls, a small one, and a handicapped sized stall. I always used the small one because the handicapped stall walls had a gap for the door, so pretty much anyone who tried hard enough, could see you on the toilet. Small children, oddly enough, liked to peer through that crack when ever possible. But those are different stories.

So I'm using the restroom (the small stall) and I hear the door to the bathrooms open, I see two small feet walk up to my stall door. Next thing I know this small girl has sat down in front of my stall, put her feet under the door, and using her hands to grip the bottom of the door, had pushed herself into my stall and is laying  on the floor looking at me.... .... ... So I don't really know what to do, I'm basically trying to shield my crotch, stop peeing, pull my pants up, and wipe at the same time. Utterly confused as to why in the world this is happening to me. "Dear God what did I do to deserve this?" is basically what's going through my head.

So I finally stop freaking out and just sit there. What can I do really? Here is our conversation:

Little girl: "Could you please hurry up? I need to pee."
Me: "Umm you could use the toilet in the stall right next to me... there's NO ONE in there."
LG: "That ones too big, it scares me."

I had to idea what she was talking about. But a few days later, I noticed that handicapped stall toilet are actually taller than general toilets. Not a big difference to me but I guess when you're 2 feet tall it does make a a difference.

So I just kind of gave her a confused look and she said:
LG: "So could you please hurry up?"
Me: "Yah of course, I was almost done."

Upon hearing that she grabs the door bottom again and pulls herself out. So at this point I'm actually finding this somewhat funny. Awkward as hell, but funny. So I finish up and I go out and start washing my hands and the little girls decides to start up a conversation with me (WHERE IS HER MOTHER?!?!) about little girl stuff, I can't even remember what it was about. So while she's having this conversation with me her back is to the stall and another little girl comes in and goes into the stall, right as she is closing the door, the little girl have a convo with me turns and notices and lets out a ferocious battle cry (I'm not kidding) and runs to the stall door. At this point I can't keep a straight face or stop laughing so I run out of there. The last thing I see is the first little girl angrily glaring under the stall door at the other little girl. Priceless.