Coffee

I've been looking at websites that tell you your personality based on what Starbucks drink you consume. There's an interesting one here but I think it's more to make fun of people who drink coffee than anything else. No matter what drink I put on, I seem to get told something offensive. There were some other interesting ones but I think my almost 2 years of Starbucks coffee making experience, entitles me to some kind of opinion... yes?

Coffee drinkers: Are usually men of all ages, or old women. Generally for people who don't want to learn the name of all those 'fancy' drinks and just want some god damn caffeine, NOW. Same for Americano's except Americano's taste much better.


Cappuccino's:  A lot of times people order these, confusing them with gas station "cappuccinos" (which aren't real cappuccino's because real cappuccino's are half foam). People who drink these enjoy the texture of the foam, and the concentrated espresso and milk at the bottom. They're generally classy people and know what they want out of life, or really confused and will just pay $1 for their coffee at gas stations for the rest of their lives.

Latte's: These drinks are for generally for newbs. When people come in for the first time and stare at the menu for 15 mins, they generally decide they want a Vanilla Latte. Why? Because it's safe and that's how people who generally order Vanilla Lattes tend to decide things, safely. Which is great because they are steadfast and make great long-term friends, and moms. Any other latte, on the other hand, such as a Hazelnut Latte, is for the more experienced coffee drinker. Their for people who know what they want, but enjoy making life interesting along the way.

Mocha's: Talking about the dark chocolate mocha drinkers here. People who drink mocha's tend to be a little more unique than others, have a more complex personality, and are enjoyable to be around once you get used to their little quirks. People that put flavorings in their mocha (such as caramel or raspberry) are different entirely because they are basically trying to erase any taste of the espresso and aren't real coffee drinkers. And they are asking for clogged arteries from all the fat in a caramel mocha. Seriously, look it up.

White Mocha's:  This is a girl drink. I don't care what you say, it still is a girl drink. If you order a nonfat-Venti White Mocha-with whip, I'm going to assume you are a woman no matter what your appearance is like. This is the go-to drink I always recommend to girls because it's a great way to introduce them to coffee. People that order this drink tend to be really friendly and out going. They would rather enjoy the now, than worry about the future.

Frappuccino's: These are for the truly creative people in life... or little children. People who order frappuccino's tend to be artistic and articulate, depending on the flavoring in the frap. This is also a great drink for children because it's almost like a milk shake. But if you order one with coffee for your child at 9pm, I won't give you a dirty look, but I will get some satisfaction knowing your little demon of a child will be bouncing off the walls until 3am. 

Chai's: I almost forget about these. Chai's are for hippies or eco-friendly/green people and almost exclusively for women. Especially if it's a soy chai. They're for the people who just take life as it is and enjoy it.

So this is just my opinion on the drinks people chose. Of course it's not true in all cases but this is generally the impression I get from people who order these drinks. What do you like to drink?