Not again

Know what is driving me nuts? Is when girls/women who weigh considerably less than me, complain about being fat. If they're fat, then I must be obese (and I'm not). It especially bugs me when they complain about their butt or thighs, that probably easily fit into a size 3 jean. I was nicknamed "thunder thighs" for a reason, muscle builds easily and quickly for me in the area and I'm pretty sure I've got twice as much as they do. And, they probably all shop in the petite section because they are tiny. GAH!

I've also decided that public restrooms are one of the most social awkward places to be in. You basically have to sit down and do your business 2 feet away someone, with a small piece of metal partition to separate you. And you always have to do it as quietly as possible, and you have to hurry because you're afraid someone might judge you if you're in there for awhile. It's just extremely awkward. Now I know why a lot of women I know don't use public restrooms.

There was a woman in the stall next to me the other day talking on her cell phone. How rude is that? What if someone in there had really bad gas? How would you explain that over the phone? "Oh sorry about that, the woman next to me is taking a gigantic dump, excuse the noise it should be over soon." Ridiculous.

Training

I finished training over the weekend. It was pretty interesting to say the least. One server got overwhelmed when he got 2 tables at one time and FREAKED out, punching the walk-in refrigerator (and denting it considerably), breaking a couple of bottles of wine in the process.

We were given 3 shifts where we were supposed to follow a server to learn how to do everything, before we served tables solo. One server that I trained with had to do a 4th follow because he wasn't ready to start serving. His training server said he was just really slow and didn't seem to be picking things up (which was probably due to the two 32 oz. beers he had two hours before his shift).

On another note, my kitten is driving me nuts! She's very defiant with me, it's actually kind of comical. She's not that way with the bf, if she's scratching something and he tells her to stop, she does. If I do, she throws a fit and runs around furiously. She's a little suck up with him too ha ha. In the morning, if I get up first to go to work, she gets under the covers then pokes her head out where I was laying and looks like she's trying to be a human and sleeps next to him. It's really cute. Except that when he gets up first she doesn't keep sleeping. Oh no. She goes under the bed and starts ripping at the mattress with her claws. This has been happening consistently over the past couple months so that by the time he leaves the moment I hear her claws start ripping I'm ready with a glass of water. She still does it though. I think she's trying to usurp me as the woman of the house ha ha.

I like...

It when people in SUVs or trucks go over speed bumps slower than the extremely old person in front of them did. As if their suspension on their 4 wheel drive vehicles can't take the bump.

Bing

I really like the new search engine by Microsoft bing.com. It seems like the links are more relevant and quite a few less of them that don't relate to my search at all.

I was on their website a few days ago and was typing in "How to make bbq chicken in the oven" and when I got to How to make... the most searched option right underneath it was "How to make your man feel like a man." Ha ha ha why would you search for that? Which of course then got me really curious and I ended up following some of the links. Funny stuff.

I tried to find it again but I guess it changes all the time based on the most popular searches. Here is what I got this time:

I'm not sure what a diaper cake is... and I don't think I want to.

New job!

I have orientation today at my new job at the Melting Pot! I'm really excited. I've always LOVED starting new jobs, I think new things in general make me happy, which is really weird because I'm a very long term employee. Or maybe that's the reason why, because I wait forever until I can't stand a job another second, then I work at if for a few months then get a new one. Maybe.

So I'll obviously be writing about my waitressing experiences quite a bit more. I'm hoping the majority of the redneck stuff I was subjected to in Idaho is now behind me... but irregardless of the class of people, they are always some crazies to bring a spot of sunshine to my life. My sister had a great conversation with a woman at one of her tables awhile ago.

We'll call my sister Toodles because that's my nickname for her. Her other childhood nickname was Pooter (or Poot n' Tooter if you want the full version, don't ask me why) and she'd probably murder me in my sleep if I used that.

So Toodles asked the people at her table if they wanted desert and the woman sitting there said:

Woman "Tell me about the red velvet cake."
Toodles "It's a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting."
W "Oh, so what's the red velvet cake like?"
T "It's red, and it's a cake. Red velvet cake."
W "Ohhh, so it's like chocolate cake?"
T "No, it's like red velvet cake. It's red, and it's cake."
W "Yes, but what is it like?"
T "Like cake, that's red."

I guess the woman, who was in her mid-forties, had never had red velvet cake. Which brings up the good question of how do you even describe it? It has a very unique taste.

So, I'm going to a birthday party tonight for a girl from work. It's nice actually having people invite us out ha ha. At least my friends anyways. I'm really starting to feel like this is home now.

Potty Talk

The bf and I have been trying to eat healthier. And by that I mean we eat lots of fruits and veggies, ate sushi 4 times last week, had hotdogs for midnight snacks, a dinner of only wings, cheesecake, and beer, and pretty much ate everything in site over the weekend. Ahem. So we agreed last weekend was our last "binge" weekend because he wants to get back into body building. So lean meats, veggie, and fruits from here on out. Which I'm down for because I'd prefer not to have my love handles hang over the side of my bikini. One thing about Phoenix, with the weather so nice, you ALWAYS have to be swimsuit ready. Sucks.

So I made him a good breakfast this morning, and a healthy lunch and I get this text later.

I just pooped a horse :( 

Umm sorry? Ha ha. I'll try to feed you non healthy foods from here on out.

Speaking of potty humour, I always have the weirdest things happen to me in public restrooms. First of all they're extremely awkward because where else are there bathrooms with gigantic slits of the walls missing? No where. And little kids are crazy, like the one that pulled herself into my stall for a little chat.

Another time my sister and I were sitting at our favorite cafe, using the wifi to feed our facebook addiction. There was a couch facing the back of the cafe and we were sitting on it, facing the restrooms. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a guy walking towards the men's restroom. He opens the door, looks in then promptly shuts it and runs out of the cafe. Weird right?

So maybe a minute later another guy walks up, opens the bathroom door, says "OH SHIT" and runs away again. So by now I'm a little curious, and I watch the 3rd guy walk up another minute later. Same reaction. Opens the door, looks in, runs away. So I'm really starting to wonder whats going on and by now my sister has noticed too. So we wait for whoever/whatever is in there to come out. The door opens and....
a little girl walks out ha ha. She is mad as a hornet too, little arms are rigid as she stomps over to her mother (my sister and I couldn't stop laughing because this poor little girl was so enraged at being walked in on 3 times while using the restroom). Her mom is behind us and we hear her saying "Why didn't you use the women's bathroom?" and "Well why didn't you lock the door sweetie?"

I realize it wasn't that funny to the little girl but the best part of it was the reactions from the guys. They must have felt like total perverts and consequently just ran away instead of having to face this little girl when she was done.

America

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about Americans and the generation I'm growing up in. The more I look into it the more I feel like everyone is really messed up. 

I hear so much everyday (possibly because I'm into health and trying to eat right) about how fat American's are and how bad all the fast food diet is. 300,000 people die from obesity related causes every year. That means that 300,000 ate themselves to death, in a year.

Then on the other side of the spectrum there are TONS of people with eating disorders trying to make themselves skinnier. They also are destroying their bodies, but in a method that involves more control. Over 11 million Americans are diagnosed with having an eating disorder.

• 27% of girls 12-18 have significant symptoms
  
• 31% of female college students
  
• 46% of 10 year old girls are dieting, have a fear of “fatness” or are binge eating
  
• Doctors are seeing a growing group of women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s with eating disorders
  
• Although less common, boys and men can also have eating disorders, especially self-induced vomiting and inappropriate laxative use 

(http://www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org/EDFFAQ.htm)
 
 10 year old girls! You know where they are getting this from right? Their moms. I used to have a friend, and her mom had recently lost a lot of (unhealthy) weight. The problem was is that it started focusing my friend on her body and her weight. The girl was taller than me and thin as a rail, and yet all she could talk about were her diets and how fat she was. She was sitting next to me one day and commented on how fat her thighs were, so since we were sitting next to each other I told her to compare our legs. Mine were quite a bit bigger and I said that if her thighs were fat then I was an elephant.

It used to drive me up a wall when I was working in a restaurant and some little 6 year old girl would come in  to eat with her mom and order diet coke. I wanted to slap her mom because:
A. Diet coke has aspartame, which is linked to head tumors.
B. If your going to diet, don't teach your kid that coke, which destroys the lining of you stomach and intestines, is ok because it says "Diet"
C. Why the hell is a 6 year old kid worried about her weight? That's morbidly disturbing and her parents are robbing her of her childhood.


I know you can argue that maybe she "likes" the taste of diet coke, but she wouldn't like it if it wasn't in her house in the first place, courtesy of her parents. Try getting her to "like" some juice or something that will actually give her body what it needs to function. Let her decide to destroy her body when she's older and smart enough to know the difference.


It would always kill me to, on the other hand, when an extremely fat little kid would come in, and their parents would let them order off the adult menu. Really? There that big and you think you should feed them an 1800 calorie Country Fried Steak, with 300 calories of extra gravy, and take the corn on the cob off for more mashed potatoes and gravy (500 more calories), start off with a 1800 calorie wing appetizer, and end with a 1200 calorie dessert. Wow, model parents right there. If you love your children you should take the time to ensure they are healthy and eat right. Not indulge them in whatever they want because kids are too young to decide what's best for them.